Why do you think you’re socially awkward? Does the mere thought of socializing fill you with anxiety or does it make you self-conscious? Do you struggle to hold conversations with everyone or do you only feel this way around certain types of people? Are you really socially awkward or is there an underlying issue?
So, what does it really mean to be socially awkward? There is no concrete definition of being socially awkward. However, a research study performed by psychologist J.W. Klegg found that socially awkward situations lead to avoidant, anxious, or hesitant actions. Several factors can lead to these situations including feeling unsatisfied with your appearance/hygiene, hanging out with the wrong crowd, and socializing with people from a different class or culture. These types of situations can make you feel awkward, but don’t necessarily make you a socially awkward person. With that being said, before you write yourself off as hopelessly awkward, lets explore these other issues.
Do You Like What You See In The Mirror?
One of the major causes of social awkwardness is not liking your appearance. Everyone has at least one part of their body that they don’t like. Disliking your appearance leads to insecurities that can manifest themselves in social situations. For example, for many years I dealt with having large dark circles around my eyes. No matter how much sleep I got or makeup I wore, I always looked tired. I literally hated this about myself. As a result, I was socially awkward because I felt like everyone was focused on my dark circles. Because I was so self-conscious about my appearance, I couldn’t fully enjoy social situations. After a few years of tweaking my diet with the help of healthcare professionals, I no longer have the dark circles around my eyes. I also find myself far more confident when socializing.
A good friend of mine always said “If you don’t like you appearance, change it. And if you can’t change it, own it” Improving your appearance is a great way to boost your confidence. Invest in self care by joining a fitness program, switching up your wardrobe, improving your diet, or trying a new skincare routine. Moreover, be mindful of what you say about yourself. Speak life into yourself. Saying things like “I hate my nose” or “I look so weird” will completely change your vibe.Words carry energy and people will pick up on it. Try to take some time out each morning to say and/or write the things you love about yourself. As simple as it sounds, it’s a game changer.
Who’s In Your Circle?
Have you ever had that awkward encounter with a group of friends where one person says something that leaves you wondering their true feelings about you? Is there someone in your circle of friends that seems more like a frenemy? Many socially awkward situations stem from being around people that you can’t be comfortable with. You’re often left wondering if you should address the situation or just leave it alone in fear of making an awkward situation even worse.
Pay close attention to how you feel within your circle of friends. If you feel anxious or self-conscious try to find the root of the issue. Do they say things that tear you down? Or do you find them intimidating? How do your friends react when you have good news? Do your friends gossip about you when your not around? I dealt with situations like this in college where my group of friends were constantly throwing me under the bus. I always felt like I needed to change things about myself in order to be accepted but it only led to me acting super weird. I’ve also been in other situations where I was actually the one causing the problem. Once you start paying attention to the people you surround yourself with, you may find that your awkwardness stems from being uncomfortable.
Socially Awkward with Different Cultures
I personally think its essential to learn how to interact with people from various backgrounds. Expanding your horizons can help you become more well-rounded and interesting. Many socially awkward situations have stemmed from being oblivious to cultural cues (nonverbal communication). You may encounter these kinds of situations at work related events or while traveling. In order to avoid being socially awkward it’s important to do your research. What is the proper greeting? What is the proper etiquette for this group of people or environment. Are you dressed appropriately? Additionally, be mindful of non-verbal communication. Sometimes just a look or hand motion that’s completely normal to you could be offensive to someone else. Overall, mastering this skill would make you appear more poised when socializing.
In closing, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a little awkward. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable with yourself. No one in this world is flawless in every situation. Also, keep in mind that people don’t focus on our perceived flaws as much as we think they do. Getting yourself to a place where you are confident will take you further in life than striving for perfection.
